This is an account of a childhood experience that took place around the age of 8 or 9 years with a childhood friend (Ricky Joe: another post altogether). Even though it happened close to 4th of July it's worth a tale to tell for Halloween.
Growing up in my childhood there were many times of sleep overs with friends. This one night I spent the night at Ricky Joe's house and a sleep over wasn't just always a play in the house but the midnight venture out (sneak out) of the house just to say we did it. This one particular nite, after Ricky Joe's parents were well asleep, we snuck out and sat on the back stoop to listen to the night sounds and gaze at the stars. Ricky Joe's house was adjacent to the grade school we attended and the main part of the playground was right across the street. It was always one of the main play places for most all of us to congregate for the swings, jungle jim, tether ball, baseball and football.
As we gazed at the stars and listened to the night sounds my eyes glanced over the playground area where I saw apparition-like figures (people) playing football about 100 yds off in an open area of the playground. I didn't say anything because I thought it was just my imagination until Ricky Joe said, "do you see what I see"? When I aske him what he saw I couldn't believe it! He described exactly what I was looking at. Apparitions running and throwing a football, actually playing football.
We started to get a little scared but decided to sneak across the road to the playground. We began to crawl towards the apparitions (they were white moving bodies) very slowly so not to disturb whoever it might be. We got half way towards these apparitions when the fear really sat in and decided to crawl slowly back and get back to his house. Since it was close to the 4th of July we always had fireworks available so we silently slipped back into the house and got what was then called a buzz bomb. Ricky Joe snuck upstairs to get one of his dads cigarettes. We sometimes would use cigarettes as time bombs for special occassions and this was one.
We went back outside and the apparitions were still playing football. We lit the cigarette and placed it on the fuse of the buzz bomb. We then crawled back into the playground about 25 yds and placed it on good level ground then went back to the house and hid behind one of the big trees and waited. It usually took about 10-minutes for a cigarette to burn down and when it did the buzz bomb went flying into the night sky and made a big explosion.
The apparitions disappeared and we hurried back into the house so we wouldn't be caught in case his parents or any of the neighbors woke up. Needless to say, we had a hard time getting to sleep after that night.
I've never really shared this story with anyone but Ricky Joe since no one would have believed us especially at our ages then. Even to this day I sometimes wonder, but to have Ricky Joe confirm seeing what I was seeing was just to real not to be true.
They just disappeared! They didn't run off and disappear! They just disappeared!! A True Story.
Happy Halloween
God bless and God speed
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
DEATH AND DYING: A PRAYER ANSWERED
I've decided to address this topic because there have been two very personal and memorial occasions that have impacted my life and have proven to me the power of prayer being answered. Before I get to these I have to say that I've never been one to profess my religious or spiritual beliefs openly or upon someone. I've always felt it a personal privacy and not one to impose on others. Let me say, I live my life the way I believe.
It's a fact of life that the older we get that we begin to see more and more of our friends and close acquaintances pass on. I've known several who took their life, many who either passed from physical ailment or those that lived a long life and it was their time. As mentioned above I'm going to focus on two very special people; my mom and dad.
My dad was the first to pass on at the age of 74 years. I remember that we were traveling to my brothers for Thanksgiving and on the trip there my dad had shortness of breath and felt drained of energy. He shrugged it off as nothing but it came back to bite him. After a visit to the doctor (forced by my mom) the next week he ended up in the hospital intensive care unit. He had had a number of mild heart attacks which had caused major damage. After stabilization, he was transferred to an upstairs room for about a week where on one occasion that I visited we happened to be alone. He had been told earlier in the day that he didn't have much time (maybe three weeks). He told me that he was too young to die and I agreed because he was a young 74 for his age (young at heart). He had made a decision when all this began to ignore his condition because he had cataract surgery scheduled and didn't want to miss it. Well, his decision cost him his life.
Given three weeks, he lasted a month (he fought death to the end, he was a bull headed survivor). I wanted to be close when the time came but I had job responsibilties so I prayed that if any prayer could be answered that I would be at his bedside when the time came. I was at a hospital for an inservice on a medical product I represented (about an hour north) when a hospital representative told me that I had an emergency at home and needed to get there fast. I phoned on my way home to find out that the hospice nurse (great organization) couldn't find a pulse. I broke all speed records to get home and ran into the bedroom to find my dad sitting up, all smiles, asking what I was doing there. It was a Friday at 3pm. At 7:30pm I was at his bedside when he had a massive heart attack. I was there holding his hand at the time. I got to tell him I loved him before he passed on. A PRAYER ANSWERED.
The second experience was my mom. As I've mentioned before, I had been a care-giver for her over the last 6-years. My mom loved my dad dearly and she grieved for at least 10-years I know for a fact. In the past years medical challenges, she always had the wish to join him. On February 14th of this year she turned 90 (yes, she was a Valentine girl) and we celebrated at the long-term care facility where she had been taken a couple of weeks before. Things weren't looking good so I prayed again that I would be allowed to be present when the time came. I really felt that she had a couple more years left but she went down hill faster than I had expected. On February 22nd I was called by the emergency room at a local hospital that she had been admitted and that I should get there as soon as possible. When I arrived, she was in the ER room being stabilized. As I came into the room the nurse said she had been asking for me and her best friend/companion Ellie. I could tell that things weren't looking well for her. The ER physician informed me that she had at most 2-days. I left to go to her cottage to fetch Ellie and bring her back with me. When I arrived the physician informed me that 2-days had turned into a matter of hours.
She was transferred to an intensive care room where she kept asking if I could bring Ellie to see her. As much as I pleaded for her request, Ellie couldn't be allowed into the hospital but if I could get her outside her ICU window then that would be okay. Things went too fast for me to accomplish this. On February 22nd, at 2:42pm I was at her bedside holding her hand and giving her comfort the whole time through the process of her peaceful passing. I was able to tell her I loved her. A PRAYER ANSWERED.
Both my mom and dad had lead very fruitful lives. I'm proud to have had them for my parents and will always have a prayer in my heart. I know they are together again and both live on in my heart.
A PRAYER ANSWERED ( I believe)
God bless and God speed
It's a fact of life that the older we get that we begin to see more and more of our friends and close acquaintances pass on. I've known several who took their life, many who either passed from physical ailment or those that lived a long life and it was their time. As mentioned above I'm going to focus on two very special people; my mom and dad.
My dad was the first to pass on at the age of 74 years. I remember that we were traveling to my brothers for Thanksgiving and on the trip there my dad had shortness of breath and felt drained of energy. He shrugged it off as nothing but it came back to bite him. After a visit to the doctor (forced by my mom) the next week he ended up in the hospital intensive care unit. He had had a number of mild heart attacks which had caused major damage. After stabilization, he was transferred to an upstairs room for about a week where on one occasion that I visited we happened to be alone. He had been told earlier in the day that he didn't have much time (maybe three weeks). He told me that he was too young to die and I agreed because he was a young 74 for his age (young at heart). He had made a decision when all this began to ignore his condition because he had cataract surgery scheduled and didn't want to miss it. Well, his decision cost him his life.
Given three weeks, he lasted a month (he fought death to the end, he was a bull headed survivor). I wanted to be close when the time came but I had job responsibilties so I prayed that if any prayer could be answered that I would be at his bedside when the time came. I was at a hospital for an inservice on a medical product I represented (about an hour north) when a hospital representative told me that I had an emergency at home and needed to get there fast. I phoned on my way home to find out that the hospice nurse (great organization) couldn't find a pulse. I broke all speed records to get home and ran into the bedroom to find my dad sitting up, all smiles, asking what I was doing there. It was a Friday at 3pm. At 7:30pm I was at his bedside when he had a massive heart attack. I was there holding his hand at the time. I got to tell him I loved him before he passed on. A PRAYER ANSWERED.
The second experience was my mom. As I've mentioned before, I had been a care-giver for her over the last 6-years. My mom loved my dad dearly and she grieved for at least 10-years I know for a fact. In the past years medical challenges, she always had the wish to join him. On February 14th of this year she turned 90 (yes, she was a Valentine girl) and we celebrated at the long-term care facility where she had been taken a couple of weeks before. Things weren't looking good so I prayed again that I would be allowed to be present when the time came. I really felt that she had a couple more years left but she went down hill faster than I had expected. On February 22nd I was called by the emergency room at a local hospital that she had been admitted and that I should get there as soon as possible. When I arrived, she was in the ER room being stabilized. As I came into the room the nurse said she had been asking for me and her best friend/companion Ellie. I could tell that things weren't looking well for her. The ER physician informed me that she had at most 2-days. I left to go to her cottage to fetch Ellie and bring her back with me. When I arrived the physician informed me that 2-days had turned into a matter of hours.
She was transferred to an intensive care room where she kept asking if I could bring Ellie to see her. As much as I pleaded for her request, Ellie couldn't be allowed into the hospital but if I could get her outside her ICU window then that would be okay. Things went too fast for me to accomplish this. On February 22nd, at 2:42pm I was at her bedside holding her hand and giving her comfort the whole time through the process of her peaceful passing. I was able to tell her I loved her. A PRAYER ANSWERED.
Both my mom and dad had lead very fruitful lives. I'm proud to have had them for my parents and will always have a prayer in my heart. I know they are together again and both live on in my heart.
A PRAYER ANSWERED ( I believe)
God bless and God speed
Friday, October 22, 2010
HOMELESS Potential: Update
As I'm approaching the end of this month (October), I'm beginning to become somewhat anxious as to what I'm going to do. I won't be able to meet my rental commitments and I'm already behind on bills. My food supply has dwindled to almost nothing and my best friends' (Ellie) food is getting low.
My son prefers that I remain in San Diego, so we're looking into some low-income living arrangements, but that still won't be realistic since I'm still unemployed. I've been considering heading back to Northern California where I was before since I feel my employment opportunity might be better with past friends and best friend networking capabilities there. I'll be making my calls to check those options out. I found out yesterday that the person who took my place of employment in Kansas City is looking for another job so I would definitely have a position available there. The main problem with these options is the cost of traveling (gas).
Being the analytical person I've been all my life, I'm weighing all options that are open to me and live each day at a time. I'm in the initial stages of preparation for traveling lite since I won't be able to take all that I brought out with me from Kansas City. The most important and main concern that I have is Ellie. Where ever I go, I want to make sure that she's included. There's no other option when it comes to Ellie.
It seems like I'm stuck in that never ending circle trying to break free but keep running into those obstacles (like the IRS) that puts me right back in it. Even though the challenges seem to continue I remain optimistic and positive. I'll continue to survive one way or another.
My heart felt feelings goes out to those of you in a similar situation like this.
God bless and God Speed
My son prefers that I remain in San Diego, so we're looking into some low-income living arrangements, but that still won't be realistic since I'm still unemployed. I've been considering heading back to Northern California where I was before since I feel my employment opportunity might be better with past friends and best friend networking capabilities there. I'll be making my calls to check those options out. I found out yesterday that the person who took my place of employment in Kansas City is looking for another job so I would definitely have a position available there. The main problem with these options is the cost of traveling (gas).
Being the analytical person I've been all my life, I'm weighing all options that are open to me and live each day at a time. I'm in the initial stages of preparation for traveling lite since I won't be able to take all that I brought out with me from Kansas City. The most important and main concern that I have is Ellie. Where ever I go, I want to make sure that she's included. There's no other option when it comes to Ellie.
It seems like I'm stuck in that never ending circle trying to break free but keep running into those obstacles (like the IRS) that puts me right back in it. Even though the challenges seem to continue I remain optimistic and positive. I'll continue to survive one way or another.
My heart felt feelings goes out to those of you in a similar situation like this.
God bless and God Speed
Monday, October 18, 2010
Life in a shelter
When I became homeless the second time and came to the Salvation Army-Cross Roads as it was designated, I felt lucky for the referral by the director of security from the retirement village. It was one of those "meant-to-be" experiences I've referred to.
The shelter housed both families, single men and women. The single men and women were roomed in separate rooms which accommodated six in each room. The rest of the rooms were for the families. There were two case managers along with the staff. We had mandatory meetings on Tuesdays and Thursdays where the most experienced case manager would conduct and address different issues related to everyday issues that pertained to the problems that many were there for.
It was quite an adjustment for me, but the positive person I am, I felt it to be another experience to learn from. It gave me a perspective of a different world altogether. My presence was unique compared to the others that were there. I never asked anyone what they were there for unless they volunteered it. Some had been there due to abuse or just drying out or like me had been put out on the streets. There were those that just used the system and jumped from shelter to shelter.
Once you were accepted to stay there, you had 60-days to find a job or other accommodations. They would rarely make exceptions and give an extra 30-days for extraordinary circumstances. I was given that extra 30-days.
I've always been able to interact with anyone whether it be blue or white collar designations. I met some really good people there, both staff and residents. One of my best friends to this day I met there. He's a truck driver that is currently out of work again and having a hard time finding employment. The case manager would tell a story of a guy that would show up once a year almost like clockwork (you'd have to wait a year before allowed to come back). He would leave, make good money then he would lose that job and end up back at shelter. I found out that this friend was the guy since it was his third time there. The only drawback to his current situation is that the shelter no longer accepts single men.
Once my time expired there I was accepted to a transitional facility that allowed a person to live free and save money to get back on their feet. The only drawback for me was that you had to live by the budget and report every cent spent. Now I know how to budget and when I was told I had to account for a pack of gum I made a decision to find an affordable studio apartment. I spent three weeks at that facility. It's a great program for some but it wasn't for me.
I really do feel lucky I had the experience at the Cross Roads. I know one thing, if I ever win the lottery, the Salvation Army will definitely benefit. Especially the Cross Roads.
God bless and God speed
The shelter housed both families, single men and women. The single men and women were roomed in separate rooms which accommodated six in each room. The rest of the rooms were for the families. There were two case managers along with the staff. We had mandatory meetings on Tuesdays and Thursdays where the most experienced case manager would conduct and address different issues related to everyday issues that pertained to the problems that many were there for.
It was quite an adjustment for me, but the positive person I am, I felt it to be another experience to learn from. It gave me a perspective of a different world altogether. My presence was unique compared to the others that were there. I never asked anyone what they were there for unless they volunteered it. Some had been there due to abuse or just drying out or like me had been put out on the streets. There were those that just used the system and jumped from shelter to shelter.
Once you were accepted to stay there, you had 60-days to find a job or other accommodations. They would rarely make exceptions and give an extra 30-days for extraordinary circumstances. I was given that extra 30-days.
I've always been able to interact with anyone whether it be blue or white collar designations. I met some really good people there, both staff and residents. One of my best friends to this day I met there. He's a truck driver that is currently out of work again and having a hard time finding employment. The case manager would tell a story of a guy that would show up once a year almost like clockwork (you'd have to wait a year before allowed to come back). He would leave, make good money then he would lose that job and end up back at shelter. I found out that this friend was the guy since it was his third time there. The only drawback to his current situation is that the shelter no longer accepts single men.
Once my time expired there I was accepted to a transitional facility that allowed a person to live free and save money to get back on their feet. The only drawback for me was that you had to live by the budget and report every cent spent. Now I know how to budget and when I was told I had to account for a pack of gum I made a decision to find an affordable studio apartment. I spent three weeks at that facility. It's a great program for some but it wasn't for me.
I really do feel lucky I had the experience at the Cross Roads. I know one thing, if I ever win the lottery, the Salvation Army will definitely benefit. Especially the Cross Roads.
God bless and God speed
Saturday, October 16, 2010
MEANT TO BE: Sermon 1 with Reverend Jim
I'm donning my ministerial hat to address this topic. I've never really given it much thought but I firmly believe that things that happen are meant to be. I reflect over the past years of my life and feel that situations happen for a reason. Whether it be a challenge or success. This, of course, is only my opinion but has been proven over and over to me in my life time. As a care giver to my mother and getting to know her in depth, she was a firm believer too, even though I hadn't really given it much thought before moving in to help her.
Life "IS" an experience. If you think it's just be born, grow,get a job, get married and exist from there on out then I feel sorry for your existence. I'm one that has done all except the exist portion. From the age of 17 I set a goal to learn and experience as much as I could for the rest of my life and I've done that and continue for as long as I live. I've come to appreciate nature at work, from the bending of trees in the wind, the beauty of cloud formations, the stars at night, the flight of an eagle or hawk in the sky or the excitement of a storm forming and coming in. I'm sure you get my point. I've come to accept and meet the challenges of what happens in everyday life. whether it be financial, death or tradegy. For what ever reason, to me, it's "Meant to be". It's how you handle it that matters.
As I've mentioned, these past years have been the most challenging in my life. I've considered suicide and been self-destructive but some inner force has always urged me to not give up but meet the challenge and deal with it the best I could. Easier said than done I know. The point is to not delve on and feel sorry for yourself but do the best to keep a positive mental attitude and cope the best you can, no matter what. If there was a degree to be given out then I would deserve an honorable degree in survival.
For those of you going through these hard economic times and having been at the top and threatened with financial devastation only to find youself with the challenge of your life, I truly can empathisize with what you might have to go through because I was one of those at the top. I've been subjected to menial jobs versus what my college degree says I should be but I've come to terms with that even though I aspire to do better. Whether I'm white collar or blue collar, all people are really the same. Everyone has their struggles and challenges.
For me: ITS ALL BEEN "MEANT TO BE"
Keep hanging in,
God bless and God Speed
Friday, October 15, 2010
HOW TO QUIT SMOKING AND LOSE WEIGHT- THANKS IRS
Well here I am down to my last pack of cigarettes and food supply thanks to the IRS.
I had quit smoking the first time back in 1978 after 7-years. Did that cold turkey without any problem except for the dreams that lasted about a year of waking up thinking I had been smoking. After over 30-years I started smoking again about 4-years ago when I became homeless and went to Northern California at the invitation of my friend who smoked a pack-a-day. I figured since second hand smoke was bad for you that I would go ahead and take it up again. Now, I know that the nicotine patch is available but when you only have $3 dollars in your wallet it becomes cost prohibitive. I guess it's going to be cold turkey again but I have a feeling it's going to be much harder this time.
Now I'm getting down to the last of my food supply and becoming creative on how I fix a meal. I have plenty of rice at the moment so it's pretty much rice and whatever I have to throw in and peanut butter sandwiches. I found that you can lose weight by shrinking your stomach and eating one meal a day. When I got out to California that homeless time I weighed 155 lbs. Being 6'0", my ideal weight should be around 170 lbs. I estimate that I'm now at about 165 lbs. My main concern now is feeding my best friend (Ellie). I know that there's food stamps available but I hate the thought of accepting give outs, especially if it's tax-payer money. Sounds a little ironic that the IRS puts someone on the streets but yet lets it come out of the tax-payers pocket to feed them. Go figure.
Thanks again IRS
God bless and God speed to everyone
I had quit smoking the first time back in 1978 after 7-years. Did that cold turkey without any problem except for the dreams that lasted about a year of waking up thinking I had been smoking. After over 30-years I started smoking again about 4-years ago when I became homeless and went to Northern California at the invitation of my friend who smoked a pack-a-day. I figured since second hand smoke was bad for you that I would go ahead and take it up again. Now, I know that the nicotine patch is available but when you only have $3 dollars in your wallet it becomes cost prohibitive. I guess it's going to be cold turkey again but I have a feeling it's going to be much harder this time.
Now I'm getting down to the last of my food supply and becoming creative on how I fix a meal. I have plenty of rice at the moment so it's pretty much rice and whatever I have to throw in and peanut butter sandwiches. I found that you can lose weight by shrinking your stomach and eating one meal a day. When I got out to California that homeless time I weighed 155 lbs. Being 6'0", my ideal weight should be around 170 lbs. I estimate that I'm now at about 165 lbs. My main concern now is feeding my best friend (Ellie). I know that there's food stamps available but I hate the thought of accepting give outs, especially if it's tax-payer money. Sounds a little ironic that the IRS puts someone on the streets but yet lets it come out of the tax-payers pocket to feed them. Go figure.
Thanks again IRS
God bless and God speed to everyone
Thursday, October 14, 2010
ANOTHER HOMELESS POTENTIAL- THANKS IRS
Job Status: Unemployed but making effort
Bank Status: $0 (-$48) to be exact thanks to the IRS
It's unbelievable but then again not,considering the IRS. I woke up this morning with a notice from my bank that I had insufficient funds due to the IRS levy against what was all the money I had in this world (except the $3 in my wallet and a full tank of gas). I called the IRS prior, to request an extension to allow me time to find a job to address a 2002 tax return that I still feel I don't owe. I called them back this morning to ask why they took the only money I had in the world and was told that there wasn't any way to return the funds.
I really wonder, that after a long productive taxing paying life of an individual who has struggled financially the past 6-years, that a citizen of the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT would be treated like this especially in these economic times. It goes to show you that this government doesn't really care. Illegal aliens have more benefits and leniency than I do.
I spoke to a tax attorney and probably could have had it all taken care of but $1,700 is pretty steep and to have to pay half up front just wasn't feasible at this time. I might have been able to but with funds frozen and now gone it won't happen.
I don't write this to be pitied. I write it out of frustration with this government and its willingness to turn its back on U.S. citizens who want to be productive. I'm not seeking help financially. I wouldn't accept it.
I want this message to go out and be heard. I know that there are many out there in my same situation.
So, I'll continue to have access to the internet for as long as I can before it's turned off. I'll be in preparation to disappear into the increasing homeless population with my best friend (Ellie). I'm a survivor, so this is just another challenge to contend with as I have the past 6-years.
God bless and God speed
Bank Status: $0 (-$48) to be exact thanks to the IRS
It's unbelievable but then again not,considering the IRS. I woke up this morning with a notice from my bank that I had insufficient funds due to the IRS levy against what was all the money I had in this world (except the $3 in my wallet and a full tank of gas). I called the IRS prior, to request an extension to allow me time to find a job to address a 2002 tax return that I still feel I don't owe. I called them back this morning to ask why they took the only money I had in the world and was told that there wasn't any way to return the funds.
I really wonder, that after a long productive taxing paying life of an individual who has struggled financially the past 6-years, that a citizen of the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT would be treated like this especially in these economic times. It goes to show you that this government doesn't really care. Illegal aliens have more benefits and leniency than I do.
I spoke to a tax attorney and probably could have had it all taken care of but $1,700 is pretty steep and to have to pay half up front just wasn't feasible at this time. I might have been able to but with funds frozen and now gone it won't happen.
I don't write this to be pitied. I write it out of frustration with this government and its willingness to turn its back on U.S. citizens who want to be productive. I'm not seeking help financially. I wouldn't accept it.
I want this message to go out and be heard. I know that there are many out there in my same situation.
So, I'll continue to have access to the internet for as long as I can before it's turned off. I'll be in preparation to disappear into the increasing homeless population with my best friend (Ellie). I'm a survivor, so this is just another challenge to contend with as I have the past 6-years.
God bless and God speed
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