Monday, June 27, 2011

THE EULOGY NEVER GIVEN: FOR MOTHER

The following eulogy is what I had prepared for my mother but never got the chance to give since, at age 90, there are very few people left to offer condolences.  It was more an informal affair like that of a visitation with friends coming and going.  I was saddened and disappointed that her great life experience couldn’t be shared so it’s here that I fulfill to her my promise we had laughingly agreed to.
“A PRAYER ANSWERED”
Written by Reverend Jim (son)
Mother, you were born February 14, 1920, a Valentine’s baby to your mother and father. “A Prayer Answered”.  The only daughter to be born and raised to a hard working father of the railroad in a small town of Kansas.
You were raised under very strict and harsh conditions by your controlling mother but received your outgoing personality from your father, a grandfather I never got to know but would loved to have met and spend young times with.  Due to your outgoing personality, you always made friends easily even though your mother always painted a negative approach to life whether it was religious or economic associations.
Even though you met those adverse negative conditions you were able to overcome them through music when you took up the violin and later piano.  Music gave you the avenue of escape which, I’m sure, your father was responsible.  He was the positive force in your young life. 
You graduated from high school and had the opportunity to go the University of Kansas but your mother put a halt to that because she felt it would be a bad influence.  Then you had the opportunity to attend secretarial business college in Kansas City and your father stepped in and put his foot down to your mother.  You were off to Kansas City and independent freedom from your controlling mother.  You loved your father dearly and the visits he would make on the train to come and see you (without your mother, of course).  “A Prayer Answered”
One of the greatest disappointments in your life came when your father passed away from a heart attack at the early age of 52.  You had, by this time, established yourself with the gas company of Kansas City and lived off the Plaza in an apartment.  The gas company is where you were to meet your future husband of many years to come.  “A Prayer Answered”
You told me many times that the best decision you ever made was joining the Unity School of Christianity Church where you learned to live a positive life.  Living for the day, not the past or future.  This positive influence spilled over to both of your sons.  I know it influenced my life and still does to this day.  “A Prayer Answered”
The second greatest disappointment in your life was the passing of your husband of 47 years.  I personally know that you grieved and missed our dad for over 10-years and had always wished you both could have made it to that 50 plus positive relationship you shared in your marital times.  You carried on involved in your Women’s Business Association, played volleyball into your early 70’s and your famous Charleston dance performance among many other activities with your many years at the middle school where you were a counselors’ secretary.  Let alone the kids and co-workers you had influenced in that position.
Your life was one of the most accomplished and blessed.  You and dad raised two fine successful sons, one with a doctorate degree in education and the other an accomplished professional in medical sales.  Even though, in these past later years of your life, you maintained a positive outlook I know you had your down times and frustrating challenges with the aging issues of mobility and health but you endured to the end.
Mom, for me it was a pleasure and an honor to be a care giver to you in the last 6-years of your life.  We both faced our challenges but I got to know and share with a very fine person and Mother, better than most have had a chance to do.  As you would always say, “It was meant to be”.  I know you and dad are together again and I look forward to being with you when my time comes.
My mother, born February 14, 1920 and passed peacefully February 22, 2010 at 2:42 pm at 90 years with me at her side, holding her hand through to the end.  “A Prayer Answered”

Prayer:  “Weep for Me Not”  Amen
Internment:  Ashes to be spread over fathers’ grave
God bless and God speed
daveyenterprise@yahoo.com

WHAT IF? Reflection on death

If it’s true that only 10% of brain function is known, although that may have changed with technological advances, then what of the other 90%.
What if, upon death, that the major function of the brain is to open a worm hole to another destination (heaven, planet, dimension) for the spiritual essence of who we are to ascend to another purpose and place.  It’s postulated that wormholes could be microscopically small and unseen and present all around us but not accessible on a conventional nature as we know it.
What if, string theory is correct and there are multiple universes where we exist as ourselves but are mirror images and outcomes of the pathways that are presented to us are representative of the different outcomes that may become.  The path we choose here defining us and the paths that we could have taken defining the other outcomes.
We hear of the near death experiences and the tunnel of light.  I personally know a person who was pronounced dead and experienced it.  He firmly believes what he experienced and it has changed his attitude on death and dying.  For people like him that have gone through this experience, it seems they have a better sense of knowing that there is more after death.  They’re just not privy to where they might be going afterward but that faith and hope are more relieving and acceptable when that day does come.
To the majority of us the “Day of Reckoning” will remain a mystery until that time comes but I believe there’s more to just a life of existence and then nothingness. 
WHAT IF? Keep the faith
God bless and God speed



CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE: Tree Climbers

One of the best times in my childhood was during my tree climbing days.  The experience has always been with me throughout my entire life.  Anytime I notice the swaying of the tree tops with the wind I’m reminded of those days.
By the time I was old enough to experience these tree climbing ventures the elm trees had grown big and tall around the neighborhood.  My next door neighbor friend, Mikie, and I began climbing after seeing one of his older brothers  do it one day.  How we got away with it is beyond me especially from any of our parents.  I don’t recall my parents ever saying anything but had they I’m sure we would have found a way without their knowledge.  We never had any mishaps except for a few scratches here and there.
One of the most memorable experiences was high up in a maple tree in the front yard at Mikies.  He and I climbed to nearly the top on a breezy summer day and took positions in the strong fork of the tree.  It was the most exhilarating sensation to be sitting in the fork of the strong limb and literally swaying back and forth with the strong breeze.  I had never experienced relaxation like that and can’t think of anything like it in my life to this day so I remember that day and feeling when I need to relax.
Mikies older brother, who got us started in tree climbing, once made a bold statement that he was going to cross from one tree to another by going from one limb to the next tree’s limb.  Mikie and I didn’t believe he would chance it but he did.  In the evening at dinner I was sitting at the kitchen table and noticed out the window a figure crawling along the limb of one of the elm trees, in Mikies back yard, to another limb successfully.  I didn’t mention anything because I didn’t want my parents to maybe end those days of climbing so I watched silently while he accomplished what he said he would.  Lucky him because he did it right over power lines.
How any of us survived our early years still amazes me at times.
God bless and God speed
www.lifeexperiences withjim.blogspot.com

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

MOM MESSAGE: Ellie

February 21, 2011
At times, something will trigger a memory in relation to my mom.  It’s not a fixation on my mom, as much as, remembering some experiences shared together.  Even though she’s passed on I will sometimes post an update.  More for my benefit and hopes that wherever she is that she might get this message. 
Mom, Ellie’s doing fine.  I know that she had been your main concern in your ending days as she had been when she came to you.  The look on your face, when I think you knew the end was near, that I was able to work something out with my landlords regarding Ellie staying with me.  The look of relief that Ellie would be cared for and the gratification on my behalf that you entrusted me with her care since I too loved and adored her as much as you did.  I’m going to bring you up-to-date on our adventure in life since your parting if you haven’t been keeping tabs on us already.
Ellie has had experiences that most pets haven’t known.  After your passing, Ellie had adjusted well to my apartment and enjoyed the walks and spots in the neighborhood.  Then, as you and I had discussed many times, my looking forward to going back to California and hence packed my things into a U-haul truck with Ellie and went to San Diego.
We found a nice apartment in San Diego that was within easy drive distance to most any popular site, especially leash-free parks.  One popular beach for dogs was at Coronado Beach where you and dad stayed at the Del Coronado Hotel.  I took Ellie there and it was the first time she had been introduced to a sandy beach and ocean.  I was curious as to how she would react, as you well know, because of her skiddishness to new and different things.  She got so excited when she got into the sandy beach, it was all I could do to hold her on her leash.  When I removed the leash she started running around checking out the other dogs and would always stay close by.  Go figure, remember those times if you had given her that freedom she would never come when you called her.  The best of the trip was watching her reaction to the ocean waves which, of course, was one of caution but then became comfortable and enjoyed the wetness on her paws and legs.  She did find out that it was pretty salty to try and drink the water.
Remember the time Ellie killed the fly with her paw in your sun-room?  Well, she became the Queen of fly catchers in San Diego.  With the weather the way it is there, I always left the balcony door open so flies would venture in and Ellie would see one flying around, then and again, and try to catch it.  One day, I was working on the computer as she laid on the bed next to me, when she suddenly jumped up and leaped off the end of the bed and caught a fly in mid-air.  No kidding!  We both know that Ellie’s harmless but I sure can’t use the phrase, “She’s so harmless she wouldn’t harm a fly”.
After the IRS froze my money at the bank and then took it all, I knew things were financially critical.  It meant being on the street if I couldn’t find other accomadations so I called Richard in Northern California again for help and again he came through for me and this time Ellie.  So, Ellie and I were off to Dunnagin.  Of course, you could see Ellie knew something was up when things started disappearing in the apartment and packed into my car or thrown away.  The day we headed out, she took her spot on the passenger car seat probably wondering what is he doing now and only after 6-months.
Dunnagin was probably the best experience Ellie will ever have because Richard rents his house from a corporation that runs an almond orchard and his house is smack dab in the middle of it.  We must have had at least 500-acres of almond orchard and Ellie was never on a leash for the two weeks we were there.  She could run and explore but she never ventured too far away even if I was inside the house while she stayed outside during the day.  The first few days it was hard to get her to come in at night (you remember those many times we had at your place).  About the fourth day she started wanting in when it started getting dark without coaxing.  Richard and I think she might have gotten spooked by cayotes which are plentiful and dangerous so I felt more comfortable that she began to come in on her own.
One thing Ellie had to adjust to was Richard’s adopted stray cat, MOJO.  MOJO was definitely not giving up her domain and let Ellie know it one night when she smacked Ellie on the snout with her paw.  Kind of like the time at your place when Calli, the tailless cat, smacked her.  Ellie never bothered Calli again, as well as, MOJO.  MOJO and Ellie gave each other space both inside and out.
When I couldn’t find a job there, I knew I couldn’t infringe on Richard’s hospitality as I had before so I contacted my old boss and asked if there might be any openings if I came back to KC and got the go ahead.  So after 2-weeks Ellie and I were on the road again for a 2 ½ day drive back.  This road trip was a little different because I found Ellie wanting to lay on my lap more while I was driving so I knew she was wondering what was going on.  I really felt bad that I was uprooting her again especially to leave that almond orchard and the freedom of no leash.
All-in-all, Ellie has proven herself a real trooper and has adjusted well to her new home and surroundings.  She stays in the apartment all day listening to music I leave on for her when I go to work.  She meets me at the door when I get home and expects her walk right away, which she gets before I do anything.  She’s beginning to recognize the days I’m off when I pack my laundary bag so she knows that she’s going to get some car time and extra walks.
I’ll continue to update you as we both go along in hopes that this may somehow find its way.  Just know that I’m doing my best to give her the best care and love that she deserves.
God bless and God speed
www.lifeexperienceswithjim.blogspot.com

Monday, February 7, 2011

CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE: The 81st Street Gang

January 11, 2011
CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE:  The 81st Street Gang
Aside from all my financial woes, I get enjoyment remembering past experiences, especially childhood memories since I feel that I had one of the “best of times”.  My philosophy is to live for the day but sometimes the past is enjoyable to remember when times are challenging and the future for what you might want to achieve.  The following post generally describes many of the experiences of the so-called 81st  Street Gang.  This was a neighborhood made up of primarily boys with maybe 4-6 girls.  The boys were split into older brothers and us young ones where the older brothers were always putting ideas into our heads.
I’m not sure how or why the 81st Street Gang was created but I have a sneaky suspicion that one or more of the older brothers probably had seen the movie “West Side Story” and felt the need to have an identity because of all the boys on the block and a force to be reckoned with if a challenge ever came up (which was only one or two that I remember). It was not made up of destructive kids but more mischievous ones.  I’ll share some of the more remembered experiences but may have more down the posting road.
This experience should probably be told around the 4th of July and probably be reposted around that time again.  Before the 4th , of course, you could find all of the boys migrating to the nearest fireworks tent within walking distance which would be 2 to 3 miles.  We would buy strings of Black Jack firecrackers (most powerful in those times), bottle rockets and buzz bombs primarily for our armaments of celebration. We did our fair share of blowing things up or dodging bottle rockets. 
There was a girls camp, called Camp Little Flower, located just south of our neighborhood and so the summer when I was around 10-years old one of the older brothers came up with the idea to raid the camp late at night with fireworks (firecrackers and bottle rockets).  The older brothers came up with a plan of how we would scare these camped out girls in their wooden barracks in the wee hours of the morning.  Since our parents would let us have overnight campouts in our backyards we planned to sleep outside the night of our excursion adventure to be able to accomplish this mischievous deed.  The plan was to secure cigarettes from one of the smoking parents for making time bombs of the firecrackers by removing the filters, lighting one end and screwing onto the fuse of a 50-100 black jack string.  Then we slowly and silently placed the firecrackers under each of the barracks and then retreated behind a hedgerow with our bottle rockets ready to await the big event.  It takes about 8-minutes for a cigarette to burn down so for a small boy it seemed like a lifetime.  When the black jacks began exploding all the girls ran out screaming and yelling while we hand launched our bottle rockets over their heads.  It was one of the most exciting times I remember until the old lady who ran the place came out with her double barrel shotgun and shot it in the air.  We all scattered fast and regrouped later at the homestead to laugh and giggle about what we had done.  Our parents never mentioned any word of what we had done but many years later in my care giving residency, bonding and stories sharing I told my mother about what we had done and we both got a big laugh from it.
Another time, Ricky Joe, Mikie (next door neighbor friend) and myself had built a triple decker tree house  in a big elm tree located on the side street overlooking the grade school and main street thorough fare.  It was quite the achievement and place for many future sleepovers.  We had nailed boards for steps up into the tree house but were interested in more access privacy when some of the older brothers mentioned some really good rope located down the road at a construction site for a new addition going up.  We checked it out that evening and saw the rope they had mentioned on a flat-bed trailer.  It was in a mat-like configuration and about an inch in diameter.  PERFECT!  It was heavy and the three of us 9-year olds drug it around a back way to get it back to the tree house.  We had to go through a pasture that had a barbwire fence so we hoisted the heavy rope over the first fence and drug it through the high grass, over another fence and to its final tree house location.  We started cutting it up to begin the making of a rope ladder then because of the thickness of the rope decided to finish it the next day.
Early the next day the three of us started working on the rope ladder again.  We decided to break for lunch so Mikie and I went back home had our lunch and began walking back up the street to finish the ladder when, at the top of the street, we saw some men throwing our rope ladder in the back of a pick-up and didn’t look too happy.  Mikie and I turned around and headed back home and wondered what had happen and why were those men taking our rope.  I soon got a call from Ricky Joe saying that Mikie and I needed to come up fast because Sgt. Moore, a juvenile-truant officer, wanted to speak to us and that we were in trouble.  We met at a corner house at the end of the street where the cross-walk lady of the grade school and mother of one of another childhood friend lived.  She was one of those busy-bodies and always got involved with the shenaningans of the neighborhood kids  (we kept her pretty busy in our growing up years). 
So there we were at Mrs. K’s house.  Ricky Joe, Mikie, myself, Mrs. K and good old Sgt. Moore.  The three of us sitting there facing Sgt. Moore, the well-known feared truant officer of Raytown shaking in our drawers wondering if we were going to jail.  Rumor had it that Sgt. Moore did what he did because he had shot himself in the foot at some time in his career and was placed in his downgraded position or because he now had a limp due to his injury.  First, Sgt. Moore informed us how much trouble we were in, taking a rope dynamite-mat used in blasting purposes to keep rock and debry from flying all over the area.  He was also interested in how three 9-year olds could even begin to drag or carry such a heavy rope mat.  We found out that they only caught us because they followed the mashed down grass through the pasture to the tree.  We innocently believed that it was just regular rope and of no value.  Well, it’s worth was $125 and Sgt. Moore said it would have to be paid for and asked how we would do that or have a police record if not.  So many mowed lawns by Mikie and I later and I’m not sure what Ricky Joe did but I’m sure he paid a bigger price from his mother since it was on their property we eventually paid it off with no police record and promise to Sgt. Moore not to get in any trouble like that again.  Of course, the threat by him of keeping an eye on us through the on-coming years helped considerably plus the grounding of 1-month by our parents.  The tree house saga will continue in another posting because the tree house would get us in almost big trouble again (Mrs. K would come to our rescue since her son was involved).
There’s one more tale to tell before I bring this posting to a close.  This took place when I was either 7 or 8 years old during the early fall season.  One fall evening, as it was getting dark, some of the older brothers again came up with an idea of a scavenger hunt which sounded like lots of fun to us younger kids.  They told us we had to go to the other block and knock on people’s doors and ask for toilet paper, eggs and fresh tomatoes but primarily toilet paper for the scavenger hunt.  They would get the eggs and tomatoes.  Ricky Joe, Mikie and I began our scavenger hunt door knocking and at the first house a man answered and said he would give us a couple of roles but looked at us and asked, “you’re not going to tepee any houses are you”?  We didn’t know what that meant until we got down several houses and the older guys had, as we found out the meaning, tepee’d a house big time of someone they didn’t like.  Well we saw that and continued down the street decorating a hedge row on the side-walk when the man who gave us the toilet paper opened his front door and looked our way.  We ran and we ran fast back towards homestead land but the long way so as not to reveal where we came from. 
About 45-minutes later the older guys showed up and had more toilet paper, eggs and tomatoes (tomatoes from a nearby neighbor with a big garden).  We followed the older guys to the other block of our horse-shoe development where we were told that it was okay to throw our eggs and tomatoes at this one house along with them.  It turned out that it was the house of someone else they didn’t like.  We went home after that and retired for the evening when about an hour after we got back there was a knock at the door by a Raytown Policeman who resembled “Lurch” from the “Adams Family”.  He only asked for my brother to come along to the Police station with him so I got to stay home.  Oh, I forgot to mention we had a sitter because my mom and dad were at some function.  Boy! Did the you-know-what hit the fan when they returned home.  Asking me what happened I told them that “Lurch” had come and taken my brother to the Police station.  They called and told the police desk that a policeman named “Lurch” had taken their son there and what was going on.  The policeman who answered wondered who the heck was “Lurch” when I finally told my parents that that was a nickname and I didn’t know what his real name was.  That was just the beginning of my getting into trouble, especially when they found out I was involved.  I heard that it was quite a scene at the police station with Ricky Joe’s parents, Mikies’ parents and mine.  Mikie and I got stay home but Ricky Joe ended up there and I understand he was yelling that he didn’t have anything to do with it and blamed all the other older brothers brought in.  Come to find out the last house that was egged, tomatoed and tepeed was where my brother had been seen peeking in the window by the kid they didn’t like and so the round-up of many of the older 81st Street Gang and Ricky Joe.  Another 30-day grounding for my brother and I.
God bless and God speed
www.lifeexperienceswithjim.blogspot.com

CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE: Tree Climbers

January 17, 2011
CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE: Tree Climbers
One of the best times in my childhood was during my tree climbing days.  The experience has always been with me throughout my entire life.  Anytime I notice the swaying of the tree tops with the wind I’m reminded of those days.
By the time I was old enough to experience these tree climbing ventures the elm trees had grown big and tall around the neighborhood.  My next door neighbor friend, Mikie, and I began climbing after seeing one of his older brothers  do it one day.  How we got away with it is beyond me especially from any of our parents.  I don’t recall my parents ever saying anything but had they I’m sure we would have found a way without their knowledge.  We never had any mishaps except for a few scratches here and there.
One of the most memorable experiences was high up in a maple tree in the front yard at Mikies.  He and I climbed to nearly the top on a breezy summer day and took positions in the strong fork of the tree.  It was the most exhilarating sensation to be sitting in the fork of the strong limb and literally swaying back and forth with the strong breeze.  I had never experienced relaxation like that and can’t think of anything like it in my life to this day so I remember that day and feeling when I need to relax.
Mikies older brother, who got us started in tree climbing, once made a bold statement that he was going to cross from one tree to another by going from one limb to the next tree’s limb.  Mikie and I didn’t believe he would chance it but he did.  In the evening at dinner I was sitting at the kitchen table and noticed out the window a figure crawling along the limb of one of the elm trees, in Mikies back yard, to another limb successfully.  I didn’t mention anything because I didn’t want my parents to maybe end those days of climbing so I watched silently while he accomplished what he said he would.  Lucky him because he did it right over power lines.
How any of us survived our early years still amazes me at times.
God bless and God speed
www.lifeexperiences withjim.blogspot.com

EMPLOYMENT: Financial Challenges

January 11, 2011
EMPLOYMENT: Financial Challenges
Now that I’m back to work, it’s been a financial challenge to make ends meet as I’m sure it is for many people in these times of economic strain.  I figured it would take at least a month or two before I could get back on my feet financially but am now readjusting that to maybe three months.
I’ve made two pay periods since I’ve been back to work and both were gone as soon as I cashed them and paid bills that I could.  I still owe on my utilities which I’m concerned about with the cold weather that has hit the city.  I just found out that my car insurance has been cancelled because I’ve been unable to pay since November to present.  In fact, what I thought was $114 owed turned into $245 which was a devastation.  Then they informed me that my monthly premiums would be $20 more each month thereafter so I’m checking on a better deal to better fit my budget.
I’m down to no food again so I went to apply for food benefits today to be informed that I didn’t qualify because my earnings projections were $36 over the amount for qualification.  The representative I spoke to was sorry but that by law couldn’t help me.  I had $100 stashed away for utilities that went to some basic food needs with the rest towards much needed gas to get me to the next pay period.  Utilities will have to wait until then.  Since rent is due on the 1st of the month and my company has implemented payday to be on Wednesday rather than Monday puts me a few days past the due dates and I have to pay an additional $25 late fee which would go for gas.
All in all, if I had been given the $.25 an hour raise as told when I started back to work but declined by corporate since I was a rehire, I will not have the additional $200 to $300 a month extra a month to help me with food and other emergency situations that come up.  So I will continue to feel like a circus clown juggling my financial affairs to prioritize what really needs to be paid and what gets put on hold.
POWER OF THE BUDGET:  I will continue to do this as I have for years but with more stringent priorities and sacrifice. 
I guess what really gets me down is that the only social life I have is at work and Ellie.  I haven’t been in a relationship for 7 ½ years or had a date in that time.  I, of course, miss the companionship of a partner dearly and guess I could just be with anyone but I’m not that kind of guy.  So, for now, it’s to work and home as usual until I might be in a position to someday meet that right person (I’m pretty selective).  Although I’m in this financial struggle and at times get depressed, I will continue to keep a positive outlook that one-day I’ll be able to have some type of financial freedom.
For all of those in similar depravity and financial challenge, keep hanging in and know that you’re not alone in these hard times.
God bless and God speed
www.lifeexperienceswithjim.blogspot.com